J is for Jokes
Here's a couple of my favorites for your enjoyment.
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing".
The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.
The 6-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna
say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'.
The 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he
wants for breakfast, he replies,"Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets
up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit,
slapping his rear with every step.
She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old and asks with a
stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be
Never Argue With a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.