First off, what do you think of the new site-design? That’s what happens when you’re in a San Antonio hotel room at 6:30 AM waiting for the rest of your family to wake up. I think I finally captured the essence of what I was going after, the same feeling that my blog title is intended to communicate. When I stare at it I feel more sedate, calm. The stress just falls away as I imagine myself soaring at thirty-thousand feet, a gentle breeze in my face and the rhythmic beat of my heart the only sound. *sigh*
How about a lesson? This little short-course will illustrate the differences between male & female’s English use.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally, I’ve found this beautiful summer poem and thought it might help make your day. It did me, and it's very well written. ENJOY!
"Summer "
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
SHIT!
It's Hot !
Okay, that made me laugh out loud! Very funny! I needed a good laugh today and lots of what you put on each list is TOTALLY true! :)
ReplyDeletexoxo -- Hilary
I like the design, I'm always in favor of changing things up (after all, I went through about 8 different designs before I decided to stick with this one). And I'm always in favor of fluff! I use it in my stories all the time! I mean ... crap. Back to editing. :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete*Edit was needed*
ReplyDeleteI'm also a fan of the new design and, much like Hilary, I laughed out loud, too!
That's some good fluff, man! :)
Since I've been defining the words they give you for verification most (or "a rather small part, actually") of the day, I present:
Word Verification Word Definition
gatorace -- The company that brought you Gatorade is now sponsoring races between hungry gators and slow hate mongers.
I love the new design, DL! It suits your blog so well.
ReplyDeleteI remember some years ago I saw a comedian on Dr Katz who said there are no synonyms in a woman's vocabulary: 'I didn't say I was angry, I said I was upset. Maybe you should listen.' I am *so* guilty of that!
And I love the poem. You give good fluff :)
I love the fluff! As a woman, I appreciate you're translation of man-speak. It will make communicating much easier!
ReplyDeleteAlso, when I first saw the new design my first thought was that it matched the blog title/theme very nicely, so I'd call that a success!
Very fluffy indeed. I haven't seen blue sky for a couple days, I might just hang out and stare at your background for awhile. Can you embed some singing birds or something, too? ;)
ReplyDeleteI love the new site design. And the list made me laugh -- very fluffy. :D
ReplyDeleteHilarious! And I truly dig the new digs--uh, er, template you got going here.
ReplyDeleteBTW: I am hungry.
Ha! Best poem EVAH!
ReplyDeleteThose are great! #5-10 for men are blunt - but honest. Hey, what can we say? It's just the way we're wired.
ReplyDeleteDude, even up here we've been in the 90's forever, and HIGH humidity. Sweltering.
ReplyDeleteAnd that poem truly echoes my deepest emotions right now.
LOL! Funny bit of fluff you gave us!
ReplyDeleteYour new design is fantastic. It goes well with your blog's name!
FYI, love the new crib decor. :)
ReplyDeleteVery funny! Fluff is good sometimes.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have to say, your fluff just made my day. Haha!! Thanks for the laughs!!
ReplyDeletethat poem totally speaks to me, man. Totally.
ReplyDeleteI love the man vs woman list. It's almost accurate :-)
I see that you are supremely clever even when writing FLUFF. I love the new look to the blog, but I thought you'd catch the 's in the headline. How's the novel coming? You're stacking up the states and the world is next, but how's the novel?
ReplyDeleteOh, DL, you are just full of fluff today. Thanks for that. I definitely neede a laugh. And that poem? Totally going up on my wall.
ReplyDeleteLove the lesson, Love the design (yes, it seems like you're flying), and LOVE the poem. It's pretty hot up here, too.
ReplyDeleteLOVE the poem - made me actually laugh out loud! :)
ReplyDeleteThe new design is perfect! Soaring in those skies, dreaming, reaching... awesome
I also really like the new design - it looks great!
ReplyDeleteAnd I definitely vote for more fluff days...too funny :)
Cruising Altitude = 30,000 feet. Uh, you'll feel a "gentle breeze" there, sure!
ReplyDeleteI like the new design. I noticed it right away and thought: oh cool. 6:30a, really? You didn't perk the coffee then, right? My sis did the coffee noise at 5a when we in NV a couple weeks ago. That drip sound is worse than someone knocking at the door. Course, I'm not a coffee drinker - maybe that's why I wanted to kill her.
This was a lot of fun DL. Thanks; just what I needed at the end of a long day.
JM: love the word verif definition. Those are really fun to play with.
.......dhole
Nice fluff! I've got to say I love the blog layout. It matches your blog title perfectly. And your lesson of the day is so true. I'm so guilty of the maybe = no with my kids.
ReplyDeleteAnd what can I say about the poem? It RAWKS!
Very nice fluff. It made me smile. ;)
ReplyDeletefirst off, I'm loving the new blog look. Very fitting for the title. And second, thank you for making me laugh. I was really in need of it and this post was hilarious. Love the summer poem too... I'm feeling like it is very fitting right now.
ReplyDeleteHi there - thank you for following my blog today :). I have stalked you back here, and I'm glad I did! Great post - very funny. Fluff is always good, especially when you need a laugh.
ReplyDeleteLove the essence of the new background. Then I caught myself wondering "would it be a gentle breeze at 30,000 feet?" Cause I'm like that and derail lol. The poem! Don't make me laugh, my neck is SORE! *dying* hehehahahahahaaaa
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS!!! And I second that poem... it's VERY hot.
ReplyDeleteLove the new blog layout!!
Well look at you and your fancy new blog design. I like it. You've hit the nail on the head with the dfferences of the English language for men and women. It's so great that someone actually gets it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not actually here. :) I'm just dropping off the new address for my site. Its thoughtsbylilahpierce.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThat is some funny FLUFF.
ReplyDeleteAs always it is a pleasure to read.
I just love those vocabulary differences lol!
ReplyDeleteOh btw, you won an award on my blog =)
Have to disagree about the women's English. Most women I know tend to say exactly what is on their mind and then later get accused of having said something else by someone who wasn't actually listening to them in the first place. Sorry, that is my own pet hate.
ReplyDeleteTruely this poem brought some sunshine to my boring dampened day.heheh..cheers..
ReplyDeletewell the site design is reflecting some kind of phase that you are going through.Subtle one.
That is hilarious! I like your 'fluff'!! hehe
ReplyDeleteJ.M. ~ Love the Word Verification Definition!! Now thats funny!! :)
ReplyDeleteEllen ~ I feel like a woman trying on a new dress. "Isn't it just me?!" LOL
JP ~ I knew you would appreciate it! "There's nothing on my mind!" LOL
Kate ~ I keep forgetting about that 's. Novel is coming along slowly but surely. I hope to be able to begin querying by August 1.
Erica ~ Yes...of course there would be a gentle breeze at 30,000 feet, because this is my fantasy! :) Sorry about making your neck hurt *supressing smile*, you don't have an urge to hurl a remote control in my direction, do you? :)
Lilah ~ My first ghost posting! :) Welcome back!!!
Clara ~ That'll get my attention everytime! :) Thank you!
Cassandra ~ Sorry about stepping on your pet hate. :)
Thea ~ Thank you. I hope it gave you a smile today!!
Love the site redesign. You're right that it matches your theme better. Also, easy on the eyes - and that's not a euphemism for good-looking, simply saying I like the colors and fonts ;-)
ReplyDeleteAs for the summer poem...No finer poetry has been written, I'd say. Thanks for making me laugh.
Oooo I like the new site! Very in keeping with the theme and very... "Don." Thanks for that translation list. Now I'm going to look fiercely at every male who innocently suggests that we go see a movie and have my slap hand ready. And that poem - move over, Shakespeare!
ReplyDeleteLove the new layout! Very fitting indeed!
ReplyDeleteAND the poem CRACKS me up...I would agree. :-)
Love the new layout! Very fitting indeed!
ReplyDeleteAND the poem CRACKS me up...I would agree. :-)
Love all the blue sky and fluff. Easy on the eyes and cheerful.
ReplyDeleteROFL! I won't admit just how true the women section is. OK, OK, it's right spot on!!!
ReplyDeleteThat beautiful summer poem exactly captures the summer Kansas day we're having here :-)
I just spewed Diet Coke on my computer screen. I seriously have to stop reading blogs while drinking. :D
ReplyDeleteI love # 10 for the woman, and the guy's list is just too funny. Now why doesn't any of that suprise me? ;)
Great fluff, I mean post!
Funny! I like the fluff!
ReplyDeleteGreat fluff and what a brilliant poem.
ReplyDeleteJulie ~ Let me apologize in advance to all those men who you'll be dating in the near future! LOL
ReplyDeleteKristi ~ The poem still makes me chuckle! :)
Jaleh ~ That's the exact ambience I was going for. Mission accomplished!
Leah ~ Maybe I need to do more fluff??
Southpaw ~ The poem was true-to-life today. Heat index of 102. Yikes!
Okay, I very much like the new layout of the blog. It's seems more bright. A good thing!
ReplyDeleteAnd your lists were hilarious. Yes, I chuckled. Many times.
:)
Oh yeah, your new layout is more in keeping with the title of your blog. Very nice! Fun man/woman lists.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks for the laugh DL!
ReplyDeleteLove the new design, very summer appropriate, and it totally goes with the blog name!
Lydia ~ Chuckling is good! And so is a bright new layout! Mission accomplished! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL - that poem was amazing! Sorry, I'm so late on the blog reading. I've been busy with my edits, as you know. :)
ReplyDeleteI've seen that language email before and it's a funny one.
I love your new look by the way. I wasn't very down with the tan scheme. This is perfect for Cruising Altitude. Nicely done!