WRiTE CLUB – Round 5

WRiTE CLUB took a serious dip last week, only generating 20 votes for what was debatably the toughest competition yet.  Let's just hope it was a momentary lull.  Anyway, round five is here and we have another pair of outstanding writing samples.  On a side note, today is a double-nickel birthday for me.  It would be the coolest birthday present if everybody left a vote for this week's WRiTE CLUB and broke the rules to tell all of your friends to come and vote as well.  :)

We had one new submission last week, so according to Rule #8 that WRiTER must be one of the contestants.  And this week is the first time the random number generator selected a previous WRiTER for a second go around.  So, without further ado....

Here are this week's randomly selected WRiTER's.

Standing in the far corner, weighing in at 225 words, please welcome to the ring……..

PANAMA RED

From the day my grand-daddy homesteaded this little valley, people have thought it was cursed. The Williams, and now the Bakers, seem to have such incredible bad luck. There was a time when I myself would have thought that a curse. Today, after so much time and so much watching of folks, I see clearly it ain’t no curse. It ain’t even bad luck. More like poor judgment and bad choices.

Take Miss Sandra Baker. She and that ranch kid were certainly about to make a bad choice out there in the barn. Not to say it ain’t one I would have made myself. Especially with her being so willin’. In my time, if I had met a girl like Sandra Baker and she was that willin’, we would have been married by her fifteenth birthday. By now, she would have had a baby on her hip or one in her belly for sure. I would have been a little smarter than to be foolin’ with her in her daddy’s barn, though. It’s a good way to get shot. What do I know about women like Sandra Baker? I only got nineteen years with never an opportunity to be smart or foolish around women. Everything I know comes from watchin’.

Getting shot is something I know about. I still can’t figure out exactly what happened.

And in the other corner, weighing in with a brand new 241 word sample, let me re-introduce to you ……..

TRIXIE LaRUE

“Is everything okay?” Becca’s muffled voice traveled through the wall.

I didn’t answer; breathing already hurt too much.  And with each shallow breath that moved my chest too much, making my shoulder flame with pain all over again, the metallic scent of blood overwhelmed my nostrils.

Nick’s body was slouched against the wall just a few yards to my left.  His chin rested against his bloody and oozing chest.  I forgot the pain in my arm as I ran over to him and kneeled on the ground.  The ground was soaked with his warm, sticky blood.  I flicked away a hunk of flesh and gagged.

I wiped the blood away from his neck and checked his pulse.  It was there, but it was weak.  I put my hand below his nose and felt a faint trickling of breath.

“Bas?”  Lizzy’s frantic call came through the wall this time.  “Is everything all right?  What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath and winced.  “He’s alive.  Barely.  Get help.”

I looked over his body to make sure I wouldn’t cause serious damage if I moved him.  Most of the blood coated his neck, chest, and arms.  Carefully taking one of his arms in my hand, I checked the bones to make sure nothing was broken.  As I got to his hands, I saw something that made me almost throw up.  Huge chunks of skin dangled from his nails. 

He did this to himself.

Nope, it doesn't get any easier!  Leave your vote for the winner of round 5, along with any sort of critique you would like to offer, in the comments below.  Please remind your friends to make a selection as well.  The voting will remain open until noon Sunday.  

Remember, here in WRiTE CLUB, it’s not about the last man/woman standing, it’s about who knocks the audience out!  Want to take part in the word battles, throw your pen name into the hat anytime during the first twelve rounds by submitting your own 250 word sample.  Check out the rules by clicking on the badge below…then come out swinging!

Where words are the true knockout!

PS.  The Deja Vu Blogfest scheduled for December 16th is going to be EPIC!  If you haven't signed up yet, do so right now.

PS. PS. I've created a nifty poll on my side-bar in an effort to better gauge who my audience might be.  Please take a brief moment to make a selection.