This was originally
posted in March 2010.
We all read a lot of blogs.
I mean A LOT. The content is so
diverse, ranging from instructional, insightful, inspirational, comedic, and everything
in between. It’s rare when I don’t take something
from what I read here and find a way to improve my writing, or my
disposition. I consider this community a
bubbling spring of enthusiasm and I try to give back as much as I absorb. I also develop some of my own blog post from
snippets of ideas on other blogs. It
could be something as simple as an open-ended question or an unusual turn of a
phrase, but I’ll mull it over and expand upon it here, adding my own unique flavor
to it. This is one of those times.
Today’s topic first originated from a blog I read almost a
year ago (sorry, I can’t find the link).
It revolved around the author’s pending 39th birthday and she
was reflecting about the increased number of gray hairs on her head, the few
extra pounds she was carrying, and the additional wrinkles staring back at her
in the mirror. The gist of her writing revolved
around society’s definition of beauty and what women today had to suffer
through to try and at least stay in the ball park. It was a fascinating read for sure, but it
wasn’t actually the blog itself that stuck in my memory, but rather a comment left
by a fellow reader. In that remark the person
wrote that he didn't really understand
men (or women) who went for the "easy
beauty". EASY
BEAUTY…what an interesting concept.
Unconsciously, the seed of that phrase stayed with me,
germinating until I read another blog post.
This one was written by woman named Thea
(who has since stopped bloging), and she was lamenting about feeling Unpretty. Her heartfelt post stirred something in me
and evoked the memory of the prior blog and the unique phrase. I left a brief comment for Thea, but still I
couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Thus here I am today, needing to say more. We live in a society that places far too much
emphasis on physical appearances. It’s
fruitless to deny its existence, or relevance, a pheromone in a visual form
attracting the sexes to each other and rendering us powerless against its
magnetism, like a moth drawn to a deadly flame.
But who created the measuring stick that we all, men and women both, are
compelled to compare ourselves to? A
smile with perfectly aligned glistening white teeth, once only available to the
wealthy and privileged, is now almost expected.
Bulging bust, trim waistlines, tropical tans, and acne-free complexions
are the standards.
It seriously makes me angry when I think about the damage
this does (and revenue it generates). I
don't consider it vain or shallow to worry about how others see us. It's simply
human nature. The problem is the beauty we should really want others to see
can’t be found in the mirror. It's in the eyes and hearts of those we come in
contact with everyday. We all have a different set of lenses we see the world
with and what might be pretty to you...could be unremarkable to me. But there is one form of beauty that is
universal. And more importantly it’s a splendor
that no amount of eye liner, blush, lipstick, highlights, nail polish, teeth
whiteners, antioxidant face cream, body oil, styling gel, or perfume can
enhance. That’s our inner-beauty.
The person who can recognize inner beauty, sees so much
more. To me, that’s the true easy beauty because it is so much more
natural and organic. Why spend so much energy focusing on cosmetics and an outer
appearance that will eventually fade? Partners
drawn to one another by physical appearance alone, eventually, will not see each
other. Concentrate instead on the element
of yourself that will resonate long past your prime, and even after you have
gone.
How do you project inner-beauty? For me, it’s in the little things. I was in a store the other day, standing in
line waiting to check out, when I saw an elderly man by himself who was
struggling to carry his grocery bags. A
young woman who was sitting in the coffee shop of the store also noticed the
elderly man. She sprung up from her
chair, took the grocery bag from the grateful customer, and walked the man out
to his car. I honestly can’t remember
what the woman looked like, but I remember her actions. I had witnessed inner-beauty.
Let’s not have a misunderstanding here, I appreciate looking
at a beautiful girl as much as anyone.
But that doesn’t mean any woman’s self-worth should be determined by how
pretty I think she is. I believe that
any woman with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye...can never be
considered anything but beautiful. A vibrant inner-being will always shine
through. That doesn't mean they'll win any beauty contests...but in the end...why
should they need to?
All the good looks on the outside won't make up for ugly on the inside.
ReplyDeleteOn the outside, I think natural and healthy are beautiful.
Unfortunately, there's a whole lot of inner-ugly in politics these days. :)
DeleteInner beauty totally shines through - as does inner ugly.
ReplyDeleteI recently received an invitation from a friend to one of those house parties where they're selling (overpriced) anti-aging lotions, etc. by Rodan + Fields. In bold letters it said "Let's leave the aging to wine and cheese." It made me SO MAD. I haven't done anything wrong by becoming a middle-aged woman, and I'm so tired of media trying to make me feel like I have.
P.S. Hi DL!!!
Hi Nicki!!
DeleteThat's one of the reason why I was originally drawn to on-line forums and eventually blogs -- no pictures. And when they were used, they weren't to be believed. You were able to get the sense of a person from their words - thoughts.
You're as old - or young - as you feel! It's not how you look. Do they have any house parties for that? :)
It's great to hear from you again!
DL
At Beauty contests, the judges too look for that inner beauty of the contestants, that smile, twinkle, charisma. Sometimes they're lucky to find the one, sometimes not.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the chase for beauty usually stops at 60-65. Women at this age come to terms with the white hair and the wrinkles - but not with weight gain as this is a medical problem which could put life in danger.