Confidence

It's pretty much universal. Every writer battles it, but especially the ones who haven't been published yet. What am I talking about?

The eternal question. Am I good enough? Good enough to be published? But it's more than just the one question. If you are published, will your book sell enough to be considered successful? Do I have more than one book in me, or will I be just a one-off? What if I suffer from writer's block?

I'm willing to bet that if you're like me somewhere along the way a person or two (usually a relative or close friend) complimented your writing and urged you to consider getting published.

"This is a lot better than some of the books I've bought and read!"

Sound familiar? Been there...heard that. Confidence on the rise.

I also hear a lot of writers describing their voyage through the literary world like being on a roller coaster. Lots of highs and lows. Accurate, but I'll take it a step further by saying it's like riding a coaster blindfolded. On a real coaster, you can scan ahead and sort of prepare yourself for the turbulent shifts, but not so in the publishing world. Having the rug ripped out from you (via query rejection or publisher denial) will test the strongest of confidence.

It's why I've debated - on multiple occasions - about throwing in the towel. It's just not going to happen, I'll tell myself, my confidence ebbing away again. But then I consider the fact that I've had two different agents, representing three different books, who've had enough confidence of their own to represent me. Surely that means something? I've also had highly successful authors and experienced editors compliment my writing and tell me I have what it takes.

So why is nothing happening? It's all so frustrating!  

Can you tell that I'm struggling again? Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything. Just needed to vent. I won't go as far as saying I'm good now, but I have stepped away from the ledge.

Where does my confidence level sit now? Good question. An eternal one.