A Small Dose of Legitimacy

Today's post will actually kill two birds with one short story (don't worry - no animals were harmed during the writing of this post).

First off, it's time for our monthly Insecure Writer's Support Group post created by Alex J. Cavanaugh.  On the first Wednesday (in this case Tuesday) of every month we...in Alex's words...try share and encourage each other, express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

This month I'm going to talk about something that will stave off (they NEVER go away) those insecure feelings, a dose of legitimacy.  Some say (and I agree with the philosophy) that an aspiring writers pursuit of publication is their way to validate the merit of their work.  Positive feedback from critique partners or beta readers, no matter how glowing, can only sustain you so long.  But when an agent, editor, publisher, or anyone else who lives and breathes in the publishing world, selects your work to be singled out in some way, it gives us a sense of belonging.  It silences the whispers in the back of our minds telling us we've been fooling ourselves.  And that dose of legitimacy doesn't have to be much.  It is some pretty powerful stuff, and it can come in many different forms.  Even a rejection letter where the agent praises your writing, but just didn't feel the story was right for them, can provide a feeling of legitimacy.

I recently got my dose! 

Earlier this year Donna Hole posted about how the publisher of short story collections, Open Heart Publishing, was accepting submissions for their fall 2012 anthology.  Donna already had one of her short stories published in a previous collection, as did another blogger I followed, Stephanie Loree, so I decided to send one of my favorites off and see what happened.  The submission guidelines warned that it would be several months before decisions would be made, so I did my best to put it out of my mind and move on with other projects.  I was really successful at that because a couple months later when I received an email informing me that my story was a finalist for selection, it took me a moment to remember what they were talking about.  Unfortunately it would still be a while before I would know if it had been chosen, but we aspiring writers relish in any victory, big or small, so being named a finalist was momentous, and a tiny bit of legitimacy!  This time it was a little harder not to let the anxiety of waiting get to me, but when notification day came and went without a word, I reverted to the other aspiring writer survival behavior...repression.  Oh well, time to move on to something else, I told myself.  That is until a month later when I received an email that started off with...We have finished our submission reviews for An Honest Lie, Volume 4: Petulant Parables. (Are you excited yet? I hope so!)

Yep...my short story is going to be published!  An Honest Lie, Petulant Parables will hit the presses this fall.  I had to sign a contract and everything!  I'll be sharing this honor with 15 other talented writers (Donna included) and can't wait.  Of course this means I'll be pestering you sometime in the future to add another book to your TBR list, albeit a short-story collection, but I'll be proud of it just the same.

 

Needless to say, my insecurities have been abated for the time being.   Last week I posted about cross-pollination, about finding ways to establish meaningful connections out here in the blogosphere.  I was talking mainly about community support, but sometimes these connections provide opportunities to discover our own sense of legitimacy.  Donna pointed me towards Open Heart Publishing and I'll do the same for somebody else when they open for submissions again.  

What I suggest to you is find a short story publisher, or a short story contest, there not hard to find, and submit.  It may seem like a small step and not really where you want to end up, but it can prove to be a move in the right direction and could do wonders for your confidence.  

A small dose goes a very long way!

 

Sadie Hawkins Query Day

When I think back to my high school days, I literally cringe.  Back then my introversion was just taking root, establishing a solid foundation for the future that the Empire State building would be jealous of.  And my shyness was in full swing as well.  It was the worst when I found myself one on one with a girl, and downright debilitating if I liked her even a little.  Needless to say, dating was something I thought about all the time, but sadly never experienced. I lived my life in fear of four things…1) No…2) Hell No…3) An awkward silence…and, 4) Laughter in my face.  I was so afraid of those four possibilities, that I never considered the fifth.

You know, it really is a miracle I’m married.  But that’s another story for another time.    

During those Saturday nights lying on my bed, commiserating with sad songs playing on the radio, I would imagine ways I could change life’s dynamic to make it easier for me.  It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized the irony of it all, that while I moped around because of my own choosing…there were girls sitting on their own beds wishing for the phone to ring just once.  Anyway, back then it boiled down to one thing; girls were in control of the dating process.  Boys had to ask the girls out and all the girls had to do was say yea or nea.  If there was a way I could flip that around and have the girls on the other side of the equation, then the world would be cake! 

Then I found out about the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

*The Sadie Hawkins dance is named after the Li'l Abner comic strip character Sadie Hawkins, created by cartoonist Al Capp. In the strip, Sadie Hawkins Day fell on a given day in November (Capp never specified an exact date). The unmarried women of Dogpatch got to chase the bachelors and "marry up" with the ones they caught. In the U.S. and Canada, this concept was popularized by establishing dance events to which the woman invited a man of her choosing, instead of demurely waiting for a man to ask her. (*thank you Wikipedia)

So, one time out of every year (from the day the dance was announced to the actual dance itself) the stars would re-align and the dynamic would change.  The girls would experience some of the agony that their suitors go through, and ditto the boys.  Now stick with me here, let’s take that concept and run with it.

Every time you send out a query letter, you are in essence asking an Agent on a date.  I’ve read a few blogs where the querying process is likened to dating.  Aspiring writers live in constant fear of this process because the answer frequently comes in the form of a rejection letter bearing one of the four possibilities I outlined above.  Agents hold all the control and writers agonize as a result.

What if?  What if one day out of the year there was a Sadie Hawkins Day for Agents and Writers.  What would that be like?  What if Agents had to ask writers to allow them to represent their work? They came knocking at your door?  How many Agents would you say NO to…waiting instead for that dream Agent to ask you out?  I bet there’d be more than a few Agents who would sit the day out, choosing not to take part because they fear discovering how often they might hear NO.

Yes, it’s silly day dream fodder, but turning things inside-out to see what things look like from a different perspective is what we writers do.  Sadie Hawkins did nothing for my dating life in high school, so why should I expect my imaginary spin on things to be any different.  But it does makes for an interesting blog post. :)

*Beep*

Hi...you've reached DL, but I'm not here right now.  I'm over at Chris Fries place today, A Writer's Expanding and Slightly-Warped Universe.  I'm supposed to be doing a guest post for him, but I'm actually just soiling the furniture and emptying his fridge! Kidding (mostly).  Chris is a long-time writer friend and when he asked me to do a guest post, I didn't hesitate.  Over there I talk about the writing path I took to where I am today and what successful blogging really means.

So leave a message after the beep...or you can rush right over and say HI at Chris's place.  I promise that you won't be disappointed!

*BEEP*

Cross Pollination

This blogosphere we inhabit is vast.  It’s made up of thousands upon thousands of active blogs, all with a different story and message to share, and I’m just talking about writer blogs.  If you’re like me, you spent the first six months just trying to figure out how everything worked and learning that IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME doesn’t apply here.  Once you learned that, then you went about the task of developing your own niche.

As big as the blogosphere is, it’s impossible to maintain meaningful connections with everyone (unless you’re Alex).  So what ends up happening is that we gravitate to blogs that we learn the most from, that we really “get”, that are on a similar path, that resonate for us, that brighten our day, or otherwise fits into some definition that draws us back time and time again.  What ends up happening is that we form these pseudo-cliques, kind of like in high school – except without the finger pointing, back-biting, gossiping, and exclusionism.  Unlike high school cliques, here they’re formed out of necessity, not choice.  Another differentiator is that we are constantly looking for ways to expand our reach in the blogosphere, diversify our exposure, and spread our influence.  To do this we sometimes hitch a ride on a bee.

The bee I’m referring to are the different mechanisms we use to get to know other bloggers.  Blogfests, Blog Hops, Blog Awards, A to Z Challenge, Book Tours, Guest Posts, are just a few.  Writer conferences take it to a whole other level. They each have a unique function and objective, but the underlying purpose of them all is to bring bloggers closer together and help us find one another.  The benefits you’ll see are directly proportional to the number of events and amount of effort put into each.  Even still, that’s only half the battle. 

Once you’ve made new connections via a “bee”, you still need to cultivate those relationships.  Landing a new follower should never be considered simply a notch on the belt.  Visit and comment on their blogs regularly, then find out who they frequent and follow them there.  They should be doing the same with you.  As often as you can tout their achievements, discuss their books, or mention their feats.  Help make it so that the ripples of success rattle the entire blogosphere.

Yes, I realize all of this requires energy and devotion in order for it to blossom the way it should, but that’s what creating a brand – an on-line presence – is all about.  However, what if you’re comfortable with this cozy little spot you’ve carved out for yourself, with just a handful of active followers?  Is that so bad?  Absolutely not!  Every blogger needs to determine for themselves just how involved their willing to get, or what works with their already congested schedules.  All I’m trying to do is point out this nifty little reproduction system I discovered that can help enhance your on-line presence, should you desire to do so.

A little bee told me.  :)

Dues

Recently a coworker approached me with a question.  She was considering writing a book and since I basically announced to my whole company I had written a couple, she was seeking my advice in getting started.  Right away I informed her that although I had written a few books, none of them were published yet and I was still figuring that part out myself.  But this didn't deter her and she told me that she just wanted to pick my brain about what to expect, how to get started, landmines to avoid, you know...the whole nine yards.

What was funny, and not totally unexpected, was that I believe she expected my response to fit inside a 30 minute conversation, or even worse maybe she could download my entire 4+ years worth of experience from somewhere and go through it all when convenient.

Her questions made me realize something.  One of the driving forces behind my blog, behind most of our blogs, heck...behind the blogosphere in general, is so others can learn and benefit from our accrued knowledge.  Why should newbies have to make the same mistakes we did?  As Dianne Salerni recently pointed out, this isn't a competition and one of the awesome aspects of our community is the way we help and support one another.  If used properly, it can serve as a huge leg up into the industry.  But what people need to remember is this isn't The Matrix.  You can't just plug in a disc and suddenly know how to fly a helicopter.  Ask any pilot, they don't log hours and hours of flying time to learn what all the buttons and levers do.  They do it to become skilled at the techniques of flying.  The same is true for the craft of writing, and the pursuit of publication.

What I ended up telling my coworker was that I'd be happy to pass along everything I've absorbed during my journey, but she still needed to be prepared...to pay dues.

"You mean like to the Romance Writers of America?" she responded.  I laughed and answered by telling her that the dues I was talking about weren't monetary (at least not directly) and there is no list of benefits you should expect to receive by paying them.  Also, the amount paid would be determined solely by her, and NOT necessarily proportional to possible future success. 

When she started getting the look on her face as if I just told her the precious puppy she adopted was going to end up weighing 150 pounds and shed hair faster than an anemic buffalo, I knew I was finally getting through to her.  That's when I explained what dues were.  Continual writing, reading, writing, reading...endless amounts.  Blogging (a must in my opinion) and other forms of on-line social interaction.  Re-writes, revisions, edits, critiques, negative feedback, critiquing, synopsis, querying, crying on shoulders, lending a shoulder, and rejection, rejection, REJECTION.  And if she happened to be successful and land an agent/book deal, the due paying wouldn't stop there.  Deadlines, writer block, marketing, self-marketing, negative reviews, tongue-biting, dealing with disappointing sales, etc.  I told her there are thousands of blog posts about these topics and more out here, full of valuable information, and that she shouldn't just rely on what I say about any of it.

Above all else, I tried to get across to her the amount of work in front of her if she decided to pursue this book, and how much of it had very little to do with actual writing.  There were no short cuts.  But if she was willing to put forth the effort and ride the roller coaster, then the reward would be worth each and every payment.

What do you think, was I too hard on her?  I've paid my dues and continue paying them every day. What about you?