WRiTE CLUB 2018 - Playoff Bout #3

There are only six writers left and you know what that means? It's playoff time in WRiTE CLUB! Here is the third and final playoff match.

Our six writers will again enter the ring, this time against a new opponent, each brandishing a new 500 word writing samples. The bouts will be posted on Mon - Wed - Fri, with the voting remaining open as long as possible.  The voting for Playoff Round #1 closes at noon eTuesday,  May29th.

Here's a reminder of how everything works. Writing samples from two different writers, identified only by the craftily selected pen names of the respective submitters, are competing against one another today. The writing can be from any genre, any age group, taken either from a larger piece of work or simply a stand-alone flash fiction. The focus is on the writing...not the writer...or its categorization.

The winner of each contest is chosen by you...the reader.  Simply read each entry and leave your vote in the comment section below.

It is customary to leave a brief critique for all the pieces. You see, the comments are where the true value of this contest makes itself known. Not only do the contestants gain valuable insight about their work from those remarks, but everybody can benefit from how each piece is received and what works...and what doesn't. Please remember to remain respectful with your comments. If you see an opportunity for improvement, make it known in the most positive way possible.

How do you choose a winner? What criteria should be used? The method by which you determine who to vote for is entirely up to you.  Which one resonates with you the most? Which one makes you want to read more? Which one demonstrates a total command of the English language and how it can be used to elicit emotion or paint a mental picture you can't stop staring at. There is no hard and fast way rules for determining a winner -- and that's exactly what the publishing world is like. But today you get to decide.

Oh yeah – for every bout that you vote in, your name (see rule #2 below) will be placed into a hat for a chance for a $40 Barnes and Noble Gift card that will be drawn after the contest concludes.

A few rules –

1) One vote per visitor per bout.

2) Although our contestants are anonymous, voters cannot be. Anonymous votes will not count, so if you do not have a Google account and are voting as a guest, be sure to include your name and email address.

3)Using any method (email, social media, text, etc) to solicit votes for a specific contestant will result in that contestant's immediate disqualification. It’s perfectly okay, in fact, it is encouraged to spread the word about the contest to get more people to vote, just not for a specific writer!

What's at stake here? Other than bragging rights, the winner also wins free admission to the 2019 DFW Writers Conference.

Your voting has an added significance because not only will the three winners move onto to the next round, the submission that does not win their bout but tally's the most votes among the losers will move forward as a wildcard selection.

Ready to help an aspiring writer make their mark?  It's time to introduce our contestants and get this party started.


Writer #1 is representing the Suspense genre. Please give a warm welcome back to Stella Sterling.

“Hello?” I croak.

“Oh… Did I wake you? It’s 9 a.m.”

“I know, Mom. I dropped Cara off at school, then came home for a nap. I was up all night watching over her. She had another… episode.”

“What that girl’s going through isn’t a god damn episode, Maggie. You should know; you went through the same thing when you were a girl.”

“No, I never—”

“You probably just don’t remember it because you were so young and it only happened a few times before I found a way to end it. Thank god for Oddo.”

“Mom, I’m not gonna run to some spiritualist hack just because my daughter’s having a rough patch.”

“A rough patch? Margaret, it’s been six months! How long are you gonna let the poor girl suffer?”

An hour later, I pull up in front of Oddo’s Oddities. When I enter the dim, cluttered space, I’m not sure what displeases me more:

The oppressive stink of incense.

Or the way Oddo immediately takes my hands in his.

“My dear Maggie.”

“Hi, Oddo. I came to see if you have something for—”

“Cara’s ‘night terrors.’” He winks. “Your mother called me earlier. I have just the thing for you.”

He leads me into a room filled with really quality merchandise (shrunken heads, cast iron cauldrons, etc.). He hands me a small box.

“Don’t open it until you need it. You won’t see these, but you will see them.”

“That makes no sense.”

He pats my forearm.

Later that night, I’m jarred awake by Cara’s wall-shaking scream. I yank open my nightstand drawer and pull out the box. I lift its lid. I stare in disbelief. “Th—there’s nothing in here!”

Another frenzied shriek permeates the house.

“I’m coming, baby!” I yell, scrambling off my bed.

The box falls to the floor. There’s a leaden thud, then a familiar metallic clattering across the hardwood.

Bullets.

I dash into my closet, jab at the safe’s buttons, and extract my gun. Sweat blossoms from every inch of my body as I crawl around, waving my hand over the floor until I locate some of the invisible bullets.

“MOMMY!” Cara cries.

Struggling to load the gun, I shout, “Mommy’s coming!”

I pound down the hallway and explode into my daughter’s room. A black figure is crouched on Cara’s chest, pinning her shoulders to the mattress. Its mouth is pulled into a grotesque smile, viscous liquid dripping from its jagged teeth. Another creature pushes down on my daughter’s forehead with its veiny hands. When Cara emits another agonized howl, the hateful beasts take turns inhaling her outbreaths.

I shoot.

I shoot again.

Inky blood sprays across the room. With each putrid ounce that leaves them, the beasts shrink. I gather my trembling daughter into my arms.

“You’re safe now, baby,” I whisper, holding her close. “You’re safe.”

The creatures wither and moan until all that’s left of them are foul black pools.
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Writer #2 represents the YA Dark Fantasy genre. Please welcome back to the arena I.N. Summer.

REMOVED AT AUTHORS REQUEST

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Enjoying a pair of talented writers at work is only part of the price of admission, now it’s up to you to decide who moves forward.  Read both pieces, choose the one you feel is superior, then say so in the comments below and provide a mini-critique for each if you haven't already done so.

Please tell all of your friends to stop by and make a selection as well.  Tweet about it, and if you do please use the hashtag #WRiTECLUBDFW.

Remember, this is WRiTE CLUB, where it’s not about the last man/woman standing, but who knocks the audience out!