The first rule of WRiTE CLUB.....

Welcome to the first meeting of WRiTE club.  This is an ambitious undertaken whose inspiration was born numerous weeks ago during an exercise of mine comparing different writers voices (You Sure Do Talk Funny), it gestated in the back of my mind for awhile, then finally crystallized over the weekend.  I've seen versions of this concept around the internet before, but nothing quite like this.  I'm hoping that the unique approach and your participation will set us apart.  At the essence of WRiTE CLUB is simplicity, good-natured competition, and a lot of potential fun.  Here are the basic rules, or tenets, with further explanation to follow.

1st RULE: You do not talk about WRiTE CLUB.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about WRiTE CLUB.

3rd RULE: If someone taps out, WRiTING is over.

4th RULE: Only two people to a WRiTE.

5th RULE: One WRiTE per week.

6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.

7th RULE: WRiTES will go on until Feb1. 

8th RULE: If this is your first week at WRiTE CLUB, you HAVE to WRiTE.

How does WRiTE CLUB really work?  Every writer who wishes to WRiTE should submit a 250 word sample of their WRiTING via email to dlh.hammons@gmail.com.  The sample should be identified by a pen name of your choosing (be creative) that nobody has ever seen before.  The WRiTING can be of any genre, any style (even poetry) with the word count being the only restriction.  My wife will be monitoring that email address and will assign a number to each sample we receive.  I will never see who belongs to what writing, other than by the pen-name.  Beginning on November 7th, the first WRiTE will be held.  On that date I will randomly select two of these anonymous entries and post them for head to head competition .  The winner will be selected by WRiTE spectators via their votes left in the comments (you don't have to be a WRiTER to vote, anyone can participate).  Ties will be decided by me (if necessary) since I will have not seen any of the authors names.  The victor will automatically be eligible for the semi-finals that will begin February 1, 2012, and the runner up will be placed back in the pool for possible selection for the next weeks WRiTE. It's that simple!

There are few other details and definitions to clarify.  Let's address them one by one from the rules above.

1.  Pretty self-explanatory *shaking head side to side*

2.  Are you learning impaired? *exaggerated wink*

3.  Tapping out means a WRiTER can decide at any time during the 12 week competition to withdraw their name from the pool.    

4.  This is a head-to head competition, no ganging up allowed.

5.  No matter how many submissions I receive, there will only be one WRiTE per week. 

6.  Come on, tell me you didn't giggle at that one.

7.  On February 1st the 12 winners will start to match up against one another on daily posts until the ultimate WRiTER is chosen.

8.  Each week any new submissions will be placed in a "newby" pool from which one half of the WRiTE will be made up.  The other WRiTER will come from the existing pool.  If there are no "newbies", both WRiTERS will come from the existing pool less the previous winners.

After the competition is over and we have a final champion, I will release the true names of only the WRiTERs who allow it.  Otherwise, the competition will remain completely anonymous to prevent anybody from having their feelings, or pride, hurt.  It will also be fun trying to figure out which writing might be who's, but remember RULE #1.

I know they'll be questions, so go ahead and leave them in the comments section and I'll post the answers in a follow-up post, but I'll go ahead and answer one right now.  Why the little "i" in WRiTE?  Simple, WRiTE CLUB is about our community and finding creative ways to shine a spotlight on some very good writing.  Although  I may be the facilitator, it's not about...I.  

Are you game?  Are you willing to WRiTE for what you want?  Then crack those knuckles and get ready to flex that imagination.  And whatever you do, DON'T tell your friends.  DON'T blog...DON'T twit...DON'T post a Facebook status update about it. ;)

WRiTE CLUB is ON!!!

This Pitch is a Bitch!

At the Ozark Writers conference a couple weeks ago I had another writer ask me about my book during the closing banquet. Imagine that, being asked about your book, at a writer’s conference no less. You would think I had the answer well-rehearsed and ready to roll off my tongue like the lyrics to the national anthem. Nope. I hemmed…I hawed…I stumbled…I stuttered…I repeated myself…I used words I made up on the spot…I jammed bread rolls in my mouth (probably in an unconscious effort to shut myself up)…in summary, I bombed! It was so bad I started wondering if I was having some sort of brain aneurism, thus my barely comprehensible speech. It was truly embarrassing! And even worse, my wife was sitting there witnessing my melt-down. If the cheese cake hadn’t been so good I’m sure she would have feigned not knowing who I was and high-tailed it for the hotel room. And the woman who originally asked the question? I heard she’s already seeking restraining order against me for next year’s conference.

The whole episode got me thinking (and wondering if therapy was needed). I have serious plans to attend future writer’s conferences where agent pitch sessions are offered and I’ve never even really sat down and thought about what I would say. In case you’re unfamiliar with pitch sessions, they are 5-10 minute segments of time spent in front of an agent or editor trying to convince them to take a look at your book. Universally recognized as a nerve-wracking experience for both parties, none-the-less it has proven to be a valuable weapon in the arsenal utilized to land a book deal.

Now that I realized just how unprepared I was, I sat down to correct the problem. I wrote my five minute pitch, highlighting all of the key plot points and character motivations, with the intention of committing it to memory once I was satisfied with it. And I thought the query letter was hard! But when I read it aloud it sounded stiff, not like a real conversation would sound. I could imagine myself sitting in front of an agent sounding like the robot from LOST IN SPACE. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!

But it turns out that was all WRONG! After doing some research I discovered a pitch session usually revolves around explaining your story in one to three sentences, whether it is at the pitch session or at the evening mixer. No one wants to hear a 20-minute monologue detailing every twist and turn in your plot. You need to succinctly tell the person on the other side of the table what your book is about. What makes it stand out from every other book that's on the market? Who are the characters? What's the conflict? What are the major themes? What other writers/books would you compare yourselves to as far as style? Why is it a topic that I should read about now? The agent needs to walk away remembering your book.

How do you go about doing that? After you introduce yourself, there is no need to jump in with your pitch the second you sit down. You can make a little small talk before you begin, to help calm your nerves. Then start pitching. The intent is to entice the agent to ask you questions about different elements of your book and begin a conversation. This is totally opposite of the understanding I had of the process before I started examining it, and now my apprehension has doubled. Small talk and conversations, things I’m not so good at.

My resolve is still intact, however! Together with my wife and a few writer friends, we’ll conquer this. It’ll probably be the toughest challenge I’ve faced so far, but this pitch is going down!

The Coffee Shop Revisited

Writer #2: Hey everybody. Been waiting long?

Writer #1: No, we just sat down. Writer #2, let me introduce you to Writer #4, she’s new to the neighborhood. She writes YA.

Writer #2: So glad to meet you.

Writer #4: *hiccup* Sorry, I think my iced coffee gave me the hiccups. Happy to meet you as well.

Writer #2: Isn’t it fun watching our little group grow?

Writer #3: Some of us more than others.

Writer #2: What has you in such a foul mood? Why the sad face?

*hiccup*

Writer #3: I’m just wondering why she gets to be writer #1. Where is it written that she gets to be #1 and I have to be stuck being writer #3?

Writer #1: *sigh* I’ve been trying to explain to her that it isn’t a ranking system, just a method in which individuality can be maintained.

Writer #3: You can say that until your blue in the face, but I know the truth.

Writer #1: I don’t have an agent, and you do. I haven’t been published, and you have. I’ve not won any awards for my short-fiction, and you have. Why in the world would you think that makes me #1?

Writer #3: You do realize that you’re making my point for me?

Writer #2: Personally, I like the number 3. If you put a less-than symbol in front of it, you get a sideways heart.

Writer #3: What are you talking about?

Writer #4: I know I’m new…*hiccup*…but does it really matter?

Writer #2: It actually does. Continuity is a very important story element.

Writer #1: Will it make you feel better if instead of writer 1...2...3…4, we instead use A, B,C,D?

Writer #3: Can I be writer A?

Writer #1: No, we should stay in the same sequence as before.

Writer #3: So I’d be a C? Average??

Writer #1: Good gosh.

Writer #4: What about using colors? I’m wearing a blue top, so I can be writer blue. *hiccup*

Writer #1: And I’m wearing a gold sweater, so I’d be writer gold?

Writer #3: I can go along with that. No implied sense of stature! So I’m now writer red.

Writer #2: But what if we’re not wearing any clothes?

*Silence*

*Hiccup*

Writer Gold: But you are wearing clothes, quite nice ones I might add, so now you’re writer black.

Writer Red: For some reason that seems so perfect!

Writer Blue: So, what does everyone else write?

Writer Gold: I write steamy romances.

Writer Red: Fantasy.

Writer Black: I tinker around with mystery/suspense.

Writer Blue: You’re joking?

Writer Black: No, why?

Writer Red: So how did writer blue and you meet?

Writer Gold: It’s the funniest thing. She commented on one of my comments I left on DL’s blog and we started emailing one another back and forth. One thing led to another…

Writer Red: Wait a minute! DL’s blogging again? I thought he pulled the plug.

Writer Gold: I thought so too, but a couple weeks ago he popped up on my reader and sure enough, he’s back. Isn’t it wonderful?

Writer Red: How long do you think he’s going to stick around this time?

Writer Blue: I only recently found him. How long has he been blogging?

Writer Black: Since 2009. He writes mysteries too.

*Hiccup*

Waitress: Ma’am, that gentleman in the corner with the Mac book sent this coffee over for you.

Writer Black: That is sooo sweet!

Writer Gold: You’ve got to be kidding me? She’s being hit on in a coffee shop?

Writer Red: I’m not surprised. If she pops open one more button on that blouse I’d hit on her myself.

Writer Blue: I think I recognize him from somewhere?

Writer Gold: Whatever you do, no one smile at him!

Writer Black: But he bought me a coffee.

Writer Gold: For goodness sake, he’s dressed in a dark colored raincoat with a hoodie underneath and there’s not a cloud in those 80 degree skies.

Writer Red: And he’s using a Mac Book.

Writer Blue: Oh my god! He’s getting up and looking this way.

Writer Gold: Shit!

Writer Blue: I think my hiccups are gone.

The Emotional Splinter

I’m sorry I haven't been as responsive as I normally am replying to comments or reading other blogs (who's that chuckling?), but I've been at the Ozark Writers Conference in Eureka Springs for the past few days. This was the second year in a row that I've attended the Ozarks conference and the agenda continues to surpass my expectations. David Morrell (FIRST BLOOD, BLOOD OATH, THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE ROSE, THE FRATERNITY OF THE STONE, DESPERATE MEASURES, THE SHIMMER, etc.) was one of the keynote speakers, as was Agent Gordon Warnock from Andrea Hurst & Associates Literary Management. While I was spending my day at the conference, my wife was off visiting most of the thrift shops and taking in the beauty of this quaint little town nestled amongst the Ozark Mountains. She talked me into staying at one of the numerous bed & breakfasts the city is known for, so it was win-win for both of us.

Although I enjoyed all of the sessions, I particularly fancied listening to David Morrell. He spoke on many topics, but he put forth one particular theory that I thought I'd share here, and I'm really interested in hearing all of your opinions about it. He was going along, describing his background and how he overcame a lot of obstacles to get where he is today, when he uttered something that caught us completely off-guard. "Everyone here is damaged goods,” he said. The comment hung in the air for a few moments, allowing a slightly uncomfortable hush to fill the room, and then he continued. “That is why we are writers. We all have something in our past trying to come out in the form of a story." He went on to say that writers spend a great deal of time trying to find that perfect emotional voice to relate the tale they need to tell, as a way of coming to grips with their issues. Some authors, like himself for example, had such deep-seated problems that they turned up as common themes in most of his work.

Although I don't agree 100% with Mr. Morrell's theory, as bold as it sounds I still find a great deal of merit in his thinking. I liken it to the way our bodies will expel a foreign substance, such as the way a splinter will work itself out of the skin if left untouched. An emotional splinter, if you will. In Mr. Morrell's case, that splinter was a neglectful mother and an abusive step-father that manifested itself in his stories where the main character is in conflict with a father-figure type.

Mr. Morrell went on to posture that attempts to utilize an emotional voice that don't resolve the writer’s issues might have near-term positive results, but will ultimately prove unsatisfying. Authors shouldn’t be afraid of confronting these issues, whatever they might be, instead tap into them and mine them for all their worth.

His talk did get the gears churning in my head. If I were to give any weight to his premise at all, then shouldn't I have an emotional splinter? And if so, what might that be? The more I mulled it over, the more I became convinced that a key concept of both of my novels indeed gestated from some impactful events from my early twenties. But then I wondered if instead of being some murky psychological mumbo-jumbo, that the key concept was just a case of me drawing inspiration from personal experience (write what you know). Back and forth I went, until I finally left it somewhere in-between. A real chicken or egg type of question.

How about you? What's your opinion? Do we all have an emotional splinter we're trying to deal with in our writing?

The Karaoke Writer

I’m offering this post as part of my October submission to Alex J. Cavanaughs Insecure Writers Support Group.

Ever wander into a bar/pub/club/coffee house/party, where a karaoke contest was being held? I’ve been to several and I must say they’re fascinating. What’s so interesting is the types of people who take part in such events. Naturally the bulk of contestants are phase shifted (i.e. drunk or otherwise influenced) and really test the audiences patience. Men and women alike brutalize classic songs by utilizing notes never intended to be included and change the lyrics even though scrolling prompters have them displayed, all the while attempting to make up for what they lack in vocal range by doing their best Mick Jagger with a microphone impression. Not a pretty site! Then there are those who manage to sound better than they actually are because they’ve happen to choose one of your favorites songs, and let’s face it, you’re slightly inebriated yourself. But the ones that make the evening are the ones that really stand out, the singers who after just one chorus hush even the most boisterous crowd and ends up eliciting a standing ovation. Those are the performers who make you think of a quote from an old Billy Joel song (Piano Man) “man what are you doin here?” Not only do they ultimately end up taking home the prize money, but also add an aire of magic to the evening because everyone goes away feeling like they’ve just discovered the next diamond in the rough. Those are the karaoke singers…that as a writer… I wonder about.

What do I wonder about? I ask myself, what is the difference between this person and somebody like an American Idol contestant, or the lead singer of that new band I just found on some internet music site? The talent is clearly there, so what is it that separates the person standing before me on this make-shift stage in a cruise ship karaoke bar, pretending to be a performer…and that actual artist doing whatever it takes to achieve success in the music business? Is the difference drive? Determination? Do they not realize how talented they are? Maybe it’s a matter of priorities, or lack of connections, or they’re using these contests to hone their craft? Or is it possible that this person is perfectly content shining brightly on a small stage? So many possible explanations, all of them just as feasible.

Why do I give them so much consideration, and why should you? Because we write novels and tell stories, and most of us ask ourselves what separates us from our published colleagues. I believe I have a talent. My own stage consists of all the friends, family, CP’s and Beta readers who’ve read my work, the only exception being that I perform all original material. But I’m not content pretending, and I bet neither are you. Sure, there are those where the goal of publication is not a motivator, taking pleasure in the writing itself, and there is nothing wrong with that.

For the rest of us, however, let it be known that we are NOT karaoke writers!