Little Pillows

My mental state has slowly progressed from irritation, to concerned, and now alarm.

It started innocently enough, as these things usually do. I’m fairly certain the place of origin was in the bedroom, but my mind is so fragile that the facts could easily be jumbled up there. Where it started is hardly the issue anyway. It’s survival! It’s either me or them!!

It all began six months ago when we brought home a new comforter for the master bed. The bundle we purchased included a set of matching pillow shams. We never used shams before, so in addition to the two pillows we each slept with, now there were two more sham pillows. That’s six pillows total. After my wife made the bed each morning she would carefully place the sham pillows on top of the others, eliciting the desired decorative effect.

That’s when the other pillows started to appear.

According to my wife, the smaller throw pillows were necessary to “bring out” the color of the comforter and tie it in with tones and hues present in the room. That was their only purpose! At first there were only two pillows, but when more and more started to appear I began to wonder just how many colors we had in the room to tie together. Nobody ever laid a head upon them, used them to prop up an arm, or even stuck them under a shirt to fake pregnancy. Their whole existence revolved around adornment. Soon it wasn’t just the bed space they occupied. It became a 15 minute ordeal to remove the pillows at night and toss them in a semi-organized pile in the corner of the room. Sometimes they didn’t all make it back onto the bed the next morning and hung out elsewhere. It wasn’t long before they were everywhere in the room, under-foot and in the way. However irritating I thought the whole situation was, I humored my wife and kept my mouth shut.

The pillows soon took advantage.

A month ago I was sitting in my recliner reading a novel, when something caught my attention. I peered over the top of the page, scanning the room for anything out of the ordinary, when I spotted it. Nestled in the corner of the couch, half-hidden underneath a lap blanket . . . was a red throw pillow. I didn’t recall seeing it there when I sat down, and nobody had wandered through the room. At first I thought it could have been an escapee from the bedroom, attempting to blend in as it made its way toward the front door, and freedom? But it wasn’t a color I recalled seeing before. During an intense cross examination of my wife that evening, she admitted that her practice of using pillows to accent color combinations had spread to the living room. My mood switched to concerned.

Slowly, but surely, the pillows spread. At one point I swore that the little buggers were procreating, evidenced by the fact that I’d go to bed with three pillows on the couch and the next morning I’d find four. Of course my wife told me I was crazy, letting my writers’ imagination get the better of me, but I had seen enough. I put my foot down (ironically on top of a pillow) and told her NO MORE PILLOWS!

Despite my edict, soon our daughters room was infected, and then the playroom. There was nowhere to sit without moving a pillow. I was at a loss trying to figure out how they were getting around. My concern even drove me to slipping out of bed one night, easing out the backdoor and peeking in through the porch windows using my son’s night-vision goggles to try and catch some sort of nefarious night time activities. But I saw nothing. The bedroom pillows must have warned the others what I was up to.

Finally, I went on the offensive and stuffed a handful in the hall closet, only to have them reappear in their original position the next day. I was reaching the end of my rope.

The rope broke last week. I caught our ten year old son walking through the kitchen on his way to his own room, carrying a pillow. THEY HAD TAKEN CONTROL OF MY SON TO MIGRATE! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

So now I’m alarmed and what’s even worse, I think the pillows are on to me. Just the other day I woke from an afternoon nap, out of breath. A pillow was covering my face!

I have to find a way to turn the tide. After I finish posting this I’m going to print a copy and place it in our lockbox next to the life insurance policy. If I should die under mysterious circumstances, especially if there are PILLOWS nearby, at least the truth will be known.

This battle is only beginning!

Thank you, Santa.

I don’t imagine Santa receives very many of these. Thank you letters. After all, who has the time? The children (and those adults who still believe) tore into their gifts on Christmas morning and never looked back, except maybe to complain about a present that wasn’t under the tree. They’ve been playing non-stop for days and as the newness begins to wear off, they’ll seek out their friends and relatives to play with their new toys. Soon it will be time to return to school and the holiday season will officially be over, just a fading memory with a trail of AAA batteries and bags of trash left in its wake.

Well, I’m not going to let it go this year. Is there a better way to start a new year by taking one last glance over your shoulder? Santa deserves his do. We know Santa doesn’t do what he does for the recognition, or appreciation. His reward is in the smiling faces on Christmas morning and the glow his generosity leaves behind and touches us all. But just because thanks isn’t expected, shouldn’t mean it’s not offered. A thank you means so much more when it’s unprompted. I mentioned this to my youngest son and he agreed whole-heartedly. I told him I would be writing this post and received his blessing.

So, thanks Santa. Not only for the gifts you left for me (which were unexpected and awesome), but for those you left for the rest of my family. My wife and I were the recipients of the joyful hugs and kisses your presents elicited, despite our attempts to give you the credit. Each year we’ll strive to take more of the burden off you and let you concentrate on your younger admirers, but we’ll always keep your mystery and spirit alive in our household.

Enjoy your time off and I look forward to your return next year!

If anybody else would like to tack on your own thanks before this gets sent northward, by all means.

Happy Holidays

I wanted to take a moment to wish all my faithful readers HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I hope you are spending it with family or friends and the spirit of the season is within you.

I also want to thank each of you for your support and encouragement this year. I’m really looking forward to 2010!

Anna
Bethany
Brandi
Cheryl
Claire
Cody
Donny
Eisley
Elana
Elena
Greg
Jaime
Jaleh
Jeff
Jessica
Karen
Kate
Kim
Lisa
Louise
Mark
Megan
Melissa
MB
Michelle
Michey
Myra
Patricia
Portia
Sharon
Shelli
Suzette
Sweetness
Wilhem

I’m hoping that the list next year will take much longer to type out . . . but each name will remain just as important.

Query Letters - Update (An Early Christmas Present)

Amanda received an early Christmas present this morning, and it brightened my holidays as well.

Who's Amanda? She's the woman who authored the query letter (Gargoyle Moon) I posted in my first update. Why is she smiling right now? Because this morning I received an e-mail from a literary agent. She works for an agency (redacted - there's that word again) who represents YA and Children books. She was reading my blog (MY BLOG!!) and came across the query letter Amanda had written. She was very interested in it and wondered if I could give her Amanda's information so she could get in touch with her.

I immediately went on-line and checked out the woman who sent the e-mail as well as the agency she said she represented. Both were legitimate. I e-mailed her back to thank her for the kind words about my blog and inform her I would forward Amanda her e-mail and the two of them could take it from there. She e-mailed me back a thank you.

I forwarded the agents e-mail to Amanda at 7:15 this morning, along with all of the links to the sites verifying the agents legitimacy, and I've been on pins and needles all day long waiting to hear back from her. She just responded 30 minutes ago. Excited would be an gross understatement. She promised to keep me updated about how things progress.

I don't know which to be more tickled at . . . the fact that my goofy idea for a blog post possibly ended up landing a reader an agent . . . or the fact that an agent was reading MY BLOG.

I choose both.

Writers Toolbox

I take a backpack with me wherever I go. Its black and the straps have stretched to the point where it’s constantly slipping off my shoulder. I originally purchased it because I was always carrying various papers and manuals related to the sports teams I coached, as well as stuff related to organizing the leagues where we live. I’m not involved in all that anymore, but I still lug around the bag.

Last week my wife was cleaning and attempted to move the bag out of the way. I heard her cry from the other room, “What do you have in this thing? Bricks?” I hadn’t noticed how heavy it had become and it made me wonder just what was making it so heavy. After taking an inventory of its contents I discovered most of it was writing related. I had collected all sorts of materials I reference, or used, when writing. You never know when inspiration will strike you, or a chunk of time will suddenly present itself to work on a project, so I prefer to stay mobile.

After seeing all that I had collected, I decided to take a complete inventory of everything (in the bag or not) I’ve acquired to help me learn the craft of writing. Here’s what I discovered:

1 - Digital voice-recorder
1 - IPod
1 - Bottle of Excedrin migraine
1 - Bottle of Visene
1 - Mini-book lite
1 - Writers Market (2010)
1 - ‘On Writing’ by Stephen King
1 - ‘Don’t Murder Your Mystery’ by Chris Roerden
1 - ‘Word Painting’ by Rebecca McClanahan
1 - ‘The Elements of Style’ by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White
1 - ‘Echo Park’ by Michael Connelly (pleasure reading)
2 - Lead pencils
4 - Legal notepads
6 - Membership in writing forums
10 - Printed research articles for latest book in-progress
13 - Copies of Writers Digest magazine
47 - Blogs following via Google reader.
108 - Firefox internet links to writing articles

So, what’s in your toolbox? What do you have on your Christmas list that’s writing related?