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WRiTE CLUB - The Final Match


Welcome to the first meeting of WRiTE CLUB. Those simple words began my little blogging experiment back on October 23, 2011 and here we are almost five months later about to crown us a champion.  It's been a typical ride, complete with ups and downs, wrong-turns and detours, and some truly amazing scenery along the way.  But whatever path this trip has taken has been shaped by the talent of great writers and your unending participation.  Thank you for recognizing the potential in what I was trying to do here and keeping the gas tank filled.  I'd like to see every generation of WRiTE CLUB be bigger and better than the previous, but that can only happen if we extend our presence to the farthest reaches of the blogosphere, every nook and cranny, and get people talking about...what they're not supposed to be talking about. :)

And one of the things they're NOT going to be talking about is the battle about to be waged here today.  Standing before you now are two remarkable WRiTER's, both with something to prove...that they deserve to be the first ever WRiTE CLUB Champion!  Remember, the WRiTE CLUB Champion will be awarded (apart from the nifty badge) a signed copy of UNTRACEBALE by Shelli Johannes-Wells, along with a query critique and/or one hour consultation with her about marketing or anything else. Shelli is a marketing whiz and picking her brain for an hour is certainly a prize to cherish. The contestants will pit their new 500 word sample against each other and leave it to you to decide their fate.  You will have all week to decide, so take your time, voting will close on noon, Sunday, March 18th.  Visit the WRiTE CLUB page and read back over their previous submissions to get a feel for their whole body of work if you like, but ultimately it comes down to today's piece.  There is only one voting restriction for this final round, you must be a follower of my blog.

Okay, enough of this stalling and dramatic build up.  Good luck to both WRiTER's!



Casey Brooks

You can’t hurry love, or so people say. But those people don’t have Cupid on speed dial.
Don’t get me wrong – being BFFs with Cupid isn’t all red and rosy. I mean, there are times I really wish my best friend could be there for me rather than the poor girl going through an emotional crisis and four boxes of Kleenex. All in all though, it does have its perks. Like how I get all the juicy gossip on Hollywood couples before the tabloids even get a whiff, or the fact that I’m the only girl in the world who doesn’t have to worry about going stag to junior prom. But there are three things you need to know about Cupid:

1.     She’s a girl. Yep, that’s right. In all honesty, can you picture a fat guy in a diaper getting all mushy gushy about true love and soul mates? I thought not.
2.     It’s a temporary position. Abby (the current Cupid) has only had the job for a year and the gal before her only lasted four months. I guess you can only watch so many first kisses before you want to gag yourself with a heart-shaped spoon.
3.     The bow and arrow might not be real, but the magic sure is. Every month she can put fifty people on the road to true bliss, complete with glitter, red hearts and one of those fruity drinks with an umbrella in it—if she’s feeling particularly generous that day.

But I’ve been waiting sorta-patiently and now it’s my turn. I figured it wouldn’t be too hard to convince my best friend to hurry things up for me and Mr. Too-Gorgeous-For-Words who just moved in last week and is already the star quarterback and runner up for prom king. Talk about dreamboat.

But apparently Abby wasn’t on the same boat.

“You’re not supposed to hook up with Devin,” she said during study hall. “Besides, you’re going to fall hard for Sean in a couple weeks.”

Oh. No. She. Didn’t.

“Sean?” I put as much scorn into the name as I could without drawing the attention of Mr. Phipps. But he was too engrossed in Better Homes and Gardens to notice the scene I was putting on. “You can’t possibly mean the same Sean who once put bubblegum in my hair and used to wear the same Batman t-shirt every day for an entire year.”

“That was in second grade Jess, you’ll get over it.” Then she had the audacity to wink.

I can tell you now though, that was soooo not happening.


Anne Shirley


At 47, Ed Bowen thought love had surely passed him by.

He watched his friends marry and have children, shipping gifts to them overseas from wherever in the world he happened to be writing at the time. Each occasion reverberated in his mind like some alarm clock to which he was forever running late.

Years passed, and still no woman with cinnamon hair and eyes like the summer sky ever materialized.

But Gully did.

Ed hadn’t planned on getting a dog, having wandered into the animal shelter on a whim, but that had changed the moment he laid eyes on the shivering mutt.

“We’re grateful Gully will have a home,” the man had said. “Looks like his previous owners beat him pretty badly.”

“His name’s Gully?”

“He was found in a dumpster, on a copy of Gulliver’s Travels someone threw out.”

Ed didn’t consider himself superstitious, but this had been too clear a sign to ignore.

Gully came home that night. He refused to sleep on the blanket by the nightstand, where Ed’s own copy of Gulliver’s Travels permanently resided, choosing instead to crouch in the corner in muted misery.

It became a challenge, winning the dog’s trust. Perhaps, Ed thought, heart lifting whenever Gully approached without flinching, there are different kinds of love for each of us.

They began tentatively, progressing from small pats and sniffs to Gully waiting by the door, tail twitching when Ed came home. He still trembled at the sight of long, thin objects – from garden rakes to wooden spoons – but grew bolder, until the night Ed found the dog’s head resting on his knee. It felt like nothing had ever belonged to him more.

People smiled to see them playing in the park, inseparable as father and son. Ed began taking Gully with him on business trips. Together, they explored Canada, Greenland, Morocco – wherever his writing assignments took them.

It seemed that Ed learned something new about his pet’s personality every day, but it wasn’t until Gully began displaying a certain talent for sniffing out money that he became alarmed.

At first, it was spare change: pennies on the sidewalk, quarters under sofa cushions. Then it became dollar bills beneath a café table, twenties strewn in a parking lot, a hundred bucks in a battered wallet the cops said Ed could keep because no one ever came to claim it.

Each time, Gully wagged his tail with a self-satisfied expression. Aren’t you proud of me? he seemed to say.

And so it was that one day, on the shores of the Bahamas, Gully’s barking interrupted Ed in the middle of writing.

“What is it, boy? Can’t this wait?”

But Gully would not rest until Ed followed him to a tamarind grove, where – carved into a thick trunk – was an unmistakable X, with an arrow pointing down into the soil.

Ed looked down at his dog.

The dog looked back, wagging his tail.

A Reluctant Tagging


After I returned from my self-imposed blogging hiatus last year I decided I wasn’t going to participate in activities such as meme’s or tagging anymore.  Same goes for Blog Awards.  Oh, I used to be all into them and relished every single time I received the recognition.  Now, I sort of cringe, because I know I’ll be forced to disappoint someone.  I still LOVE and appreciate the acknowledgement that comes with such a selection, but I no longer have the time to go through the gyrations that routinely accompany them.  I don’t do chain letters either, so the idea of passing something along doesn’t really appeal to me.  I don’t want to demean my readers who do enjoy those activities and I’ve probably lost a few followers just admitting this; but it’s just not for me any longer.  Nowadays, a kind comment on one of my post is all I need to know you care.

That being said, Julie Fedderson at Gypsy in My Soul tagged me last week with the latest question & answer meme going around.  I had been tagged a couple other times before that and managed to fight off the urge to contribute, but the questions that Julie came up with were really playful and piqued my interest.  So I’m breaking my own rules to go ahead and answer them for her, I'm also supposed to be on a diet but I'm sitting here eating a Danish.  Somebody slap me!!  Anyway, what I won’t be doing is making up my own questions and asking other bloggers to participate.  At least a few of my principles have to remain intact.  J  I hope you enjoy my answers Julie.


  1. Paper or plastic?  I prefer those reusable/recyclable bags that Walmart offers.  You know the ones that turn into trunk liners because you can NEVER remember to bring them into the store when shopping.

  1. What cartoon do you still secretly enjoy watching?  Avatar – The Last Airbender was the last cartoon one I watched.  Terrific series!  However, the live action movie based on the cartoon blows!

  1. If you could pick up an instrument and immediately know how to play, what instrument would you choose?   I could get the rumor mill churning about homo-erotic tendencies by choosing the flute, or maybe the Piccolo, but that would demonstrate a complete lack of tact.  Instead I’m torn between the Piano and the Guitar.  I’ve always had a desire to play one of those instruments, but stubby fingers put a crimp in that dream.  If I had to choose, I’ll go with the Guitar.  I don’t think I could lift the Piano.

  1. What is the song that most defines your personality?  Of all Julie’s questions, this is the one that intrigued me the most.  It’s actually a topic I’ve thought about before, what songs would constitute a soundtrack of my life?  A good majority of them would be instrumental, or with very few lyrics, because I’ve always been a very quiet person and prefer to let my actions speak for me, but there are also some rockers as well because underneath my quite bravado, I’m a head-banger at heart.  Here are a few I’ve thought about.   “Blue Sky” by The Allman Brothers.  “Blowing Free” by Wishbone Ash. “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band,  “Easy” by The Commodores, “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas, “Journey of the Sorcerer” by The Eagles, “All Together…Oh That!” by Focus, “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC, and “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen.

  1. What’s your anger style?  (i.e. simmer and steam, etc.)  A cross between Mount Everest and Mount St. Helens.  It takes a lot…and I’m talking A LOT, to get me angry.  Usually the exasperation I might be feeling stays far beneath the surface and dissipates over a very short period of time.  However, I have blown a few times (we’re talking black eyes) and when that happens the world knows about it.  

  1. What do you think will be the downfall of modern society?  Note my answer to #1.  Great idea’s and intentions designed to slow down the effects of global out-of-control consumption… never taken seriously.

  1. What is the best character name you’ve ever come across?  Pussy Galore in Goldfinger.  Ian Fleming had no shame!

  1. What is your most bizarre beauty ritual?  That would imply that actual beauty would result.  LOL!  I find my entire ritual bizarre because my latent OCD forces me to do it the exact same way every time.  Shower…dry…put on socks/pants/shoes (in that order)…shave (electric)…apply after-shave…apply deordorant…comb (despite the fact that most of my hair answered the disembarkation call long ago)…brush teeth…floss…done. 

  1. What is your favorite scent?  Did you not read my Senseless post?

  1.  Could your Significant Other identify you by just one body part, and if so, which one?  *Stares at the screen, with just a hint of a smile…and winks*

  1.  What moment in your life would have won the $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos?  If I decided to vlog the answer to the previous question and it turned out the camera didn’t have enough zoom.  #EPICFAIL

A Little Dab Will Do You


It’s the first Wednesday in March and time for my monthly contribution for Alex J. Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group. 

It turns out; insecurity isn’t always a bad thing.  In fact, I would even postulate that a certain measure of it is even necessary.  What do we do when we feel insecure about something?  We work harder to shore up that aspect of ourselves and build more confidence.  How much would your writing improve if you lacked insecurity?   A smart writer, composer, performer, artist, etc…etc, realizes that there’s ALWAYS room for improvement and the uncertainty of where we stand in relationship to our peers should actually drive us.  Too much security…or over-confidence…breeds arrogance, egotism, and conceit.

Hold on a sec, that doesn’t mean you can wipe that brow and declare, “Phew…I’m glad I don’t have to worry about being insecure all the time now!”  Although it’s true that a certain amount of insecurity serves a useful purpose, overall it can still be disabling.  Too much of it holds so many of us back, rendering us timid, hesitant. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the goal isn’t to eliminate insecurity, but rather to manage it and make it work for us.  How do we do that?  Keep putting yourself out there and build credibility.  If your new to blogging, participate in blogfests or other opportunities like the A to Z Challenge.  Become a bigger part of the conversation.

At the end of the day, grab that insecurity by the horns and ride it til the horn blows!

Happy hump day!

WRiTE CLUB - Interlude


The people have spoken and the stage is now set.  On Monday, March 12th two WRiTER’s will step into the ring one last time for the ultimate showdown.  Those contenders for the first ever WRiTE CLUB championship will be:

Casey Brooks and Anne Shirley

Each contestant will now have a week to submit a brand new 500 word writing sample, which should be emailed to my wife sometime before Monday.  Once the bout starts the voting will remain open all week, closing at noon the following Sunday.  The winner will then be announced…and revealed…on Monday March 19th . 

Now, this is the part of the show where the MC typically entertains the audience while the competitors prepare for the final face-off.  You know, like when Jennifer Lopez sings for the American Idol crowd or Tom Bergeron brings out The Black Eye Peas to perform during Dancing with the Stars.   I won’t pretend to be anywhere close to that caliber, but I thinks it’s only fair that after 15+ weeks of asking WRiTER’s to put a sample of their work on display, that I do the same.  At one point I actually considered creating a pen name and entering my own contest, but when I considered what might happen if I actually advanced through the rounds I quickly shot that idea down.  But what I can do is offer up my own 500 word sample here, purely for entertainment, no voting involved.  I hope you enjoy it…and we’ll see you back here next week.

“I don’t see a decent size town for at least a hundred miles,” Cami said, her head peering over the top of the map. “If you gotta go that badly you’ll just have to pull over.”
I stared out across the barren country-side on either side of the interstate.  Not a tree or bush even a mangy dog could consider using.
“I’ll hold it for a while longer.”
Cami started folding up the map. “Suit yourself.  I guess somebody should’ve gone when we ate lunch, like I suggested.”
I let her dig just hang there, refusing to retaliate.  I knew she was right, but admission went against every guy rule there was and only serve to egg her on anyway.  It didn’t work though; the playful smile I saw out of the corner of my eye told me she was satisfied her point had been made.
At least the dull pressure from my bladder would help keep me awake.  I had been warned the I-80 drive across Nebraska could challenge one’s consciousness, but this bordered on the brutal. Miles and miles of nothingness.  As I reached to hit the seek button on the radio to find music with more tempo, my attention was drawn to something out of place on the road a couple hundred yards ahead.  It appeared to be some sort of rolled up sheet, or light blanket, but still big enough to worry about running over and fouling the under carriage.  Out of habit I checked the rear-view mirror, but the group of semi's we recently passed was still a ways back.
"What's that in the road?" Cami asked as she returned the map back to the glove compartment.
I didn't bother to answer, instead wondering why the sheet was remaining stationary despite the never-ending breeze blowing outside.  I flipped down the turn signal and started pulling into the left-hand lane as our vehicle quickly approached the hazard.
An icy chill ran down my spine when the surface of the sheet suddenly seemed to ripple and flex.  Something was moving inside.  We were right on top of it now, about to speed by on the left side when I thought I spotted something else lying on the ground next to the sheet.  It couldn’t be.
Cami must have seen it at the same time. "JASON, THAT'S A PACIFIER!" she screamed.
Instinctively, I stood on the brakes.  The screeching tires were deafening, seeming to last an eternity, drowning out the sound of my breath being forced from my body as the seat belt prevented me from colliding with the dashboard.  I struggled to keep the car heading straight, but instead it pulled slightly to the left and into the center medium.  No sooner had we jerked to a halt I heard the passenger door fly open.
In the rear-view mirror I watched in horror as Cami sprinted unfazed towards the semi-trailers thundering down on her, and the blanket.

 

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