The people have spoken and the stage is now set. On Monday, March 12th two WRiTER’s will step into the ring one
last time for the ultimate showdown. Those
contenders for the first ever WRiTE CLUB
championship will be:
Casey Brooks and Anne Shirley
Each contestant will now have a week to submit a brand new
500 word writing sample, which should be emailed to my wife sometime before
Monday. Once the bout starts the voting
will remain open all week, closing at noon the following Sunday. The winner will then be announced…and revealed…on
Monday March 19th .
Now, this is the part of the show where the MC typically
entertains the audience while the competitors prepare for the final face-off. You know, like when Jennifer Lopez sings for
the American Idol crowd or Tom Bergeron brings out The Black Eye Peas to
perform during Dancing with the Stars. I
won’t pretend to be anywhere close to that caliber, but I thinks it’s only fair
that after 15+ weeks of asking WRiTER’s to
put a sample of their work on display, that I do the same. At one point I actually considered creating a
pen name and entering my own contest, but when I considered what might happen
if I actually advanced through the rounds I quickly shot that idea down. But what I can do is offer up my own 500 word
sample here, purely for entertainment, no voting involved. I hope you enjoy it…and we’ll see you back
here next week.
“I don’t see a decent size town for
at least a hundred miles,” Cami said, her head peering over the top of the map.
“If you gotta go that badly you’ll just have to pull over.”
I stared out across the barren
country-side on either side of the interstate.
Not a tree or bush even a mangy dog could consider using.
“I’ll hold it for a while longer.”
Cami started folding up the map.
“Suit yourself. I guess somebody should’ve gone when we ate
lunch, like I suggested.”
I let her dig just hang there,
refusing to retaliate. I knew she was
right, but admission went against every guy rule there was and only serve to
egg her on anyway. It didn’t work
though; the playful smile I saw out of the corner of my eye told me she was
satisfied her point had been made.
At least the dull pressure from my
bladder would help keep me awake. I had
been warned the I-80 drive across Nebraska could challenge one’s consciousness,
but this bordered on the brutal. Miles and miles of nothingness. As I reached to hit the seek button on the
radio to find music with more tempo, my attention was drawn to something out of
place on the road a couple hundred yards ahead.
It appeared to be some sort of rolled up sheet, or light blanket, but
still big enough to worry about running over and fouling the under
carriage. Out of habit I checked the rear-view mirror, but the group of semi's we recently passed was still a ways
back.
"What's that in the
road?" Cami asked as she returned the map back to the glove compartment.
I didn't bother to answer, instead
wondering why the sheet was remaining stationary despite the never-ending breeze
blowing outside. I flipped down the turn
signal and started pulling into the left-hand lane as our vehicle quickly
approached the hazard.
An icy chill ran down my spine when
the surface of the sheet suddenly seemed to ripple and flex. Something was moving inside. We were right on top of it now, about to
speed by on the left side when I thought I spotted something else lying on the
ground next to the sheet. It couldn’t be.
Cami must have seen it at the same
time. "JASON, THAT'S A PACIFIER!" she screamed.
Instinctively, I stood on the
brakes. The screeching tires were
deafening, seeming to last an eternity, drowning out the sound of my breath
being forced from my body as the seat belt prevented me from colliding with the
dashboard. I struggled to keep the car
heading straight, but instead it pulled slightly to the left and into the
center medium. No sooner had we jerked
to a halt I heard the passenger door fly open.
In the rear-view mirror I watched
in horror as Cami sprinted unfazed towards the semi-trailers thundering down on
her, and the blanket.
I would have voted for that. Very impressive.Areyou gonna tell us more?
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck are you doing -- leaving us hanging at that spot?!?
ReplyDeleteYou stinker.
Is this from one of your WIPs, or just written to tease us? :D
Veeery interesting, but I'm still hung up on they guy having to pee. Glad you didn't have him use a cup or bottle as my first husband would have. Oh, and did you write the rest of the story?
ReplyDeleteOooo...I want to read more! Very good!
ReplyDeleteGreat opening snippet, DL!!!
ReplyDeleteBrings up wonderful story questions, immerses and completely involves the reader, and leaves us desperately wanting more. You'd have my vote for winner.
And one last thing: If the shock of seeing the baby in the road, slamming on the brakes, and having Cami dive out in front of the semis didn't force the narrator's bladder to let loose, then he musta not had to go that bad...
;^)
This is really good! It would have been a contender.
ReplyDeleteAmazing! And you totally should have entered your own contest, because I would have voted for this story.
ReplyDeleteShame you couldn't have entered your own - that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteOh yikes! I totally want to know what happened and WHY ON EARTH THERE'S A BABY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?!?!? Good job. And congrats on the finalists!
ReplyDeleteGaaaah... I agree with Tiana... the whole baby thing is FREAKIN' me out...
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, of course ;) Great work :D
Fantastic! I would want to hear more too. I drove across Nebraska once - 700 miles of corn. It was mind numbing.
ReplyDeleteI love your submission. You should have been the secret entry and let a third individual choose tie breakers!
ReplyDeleteOh shiiii that was intense. Now I'm hooked into reading more.
ReplyDeleteYou should be ashamed (proud) of yourself for such a cliffhanger.
......dhole
Great tension, DL! Well done. It's hookish, making me wonder what will happen and if that's a baby!
ReplyDeleteWhat happens next????
ReplyDeleteGreat piece, DL. Do you plan to finish this story? I hope so!
Looking forward to this last round. Very exciting! Thanks for being such an awesome host. :)
That's just cruel to leave us hanging like that! :) Very well done. I wondered if any of the submissions were yours.
ReplyDeleteThat is a cliff hanger if ever there was one. Oh you're good, really good.
ReplyDeletedreamweaver
Oooh - very exciting! Thanks for sharing your own entry!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of an interlude.
ReplyDeleteAnd that one was quite suspenseful! I want to read more.
WHOA--awesome!!!! Where's my voting button?!?! :D
ReplyDeleteGreat job DL. That would have gone far. Now what happens next?!
ReplyDeleteYay! It was so nice to get a sample of your work. :) Love how this goes from typical & familiar to holy $#&@! in a matter of moments.
ReplyDelete