I promised not to leave you hanging, and
here I am delivering on that promise (sort of).
If you missed part one of this saga, you can catch it here. Also, if you haven’t cast your vote in the WRiTE CLUB final match yet, please do so and that can be done here. Enjoy!
In the rear-view mirror I watched in horror as Cami sprinted
unfazed towards the semi-trailers thundering down on her, and the blanket.
“CAMI,” I hollered while fumbling with the seat
belt. When the restraint came loose I
started out the door and realized the car was rolling forward again. Cursing loudly I reached back to the center
console and rammed shift knob into park, then was out the door running.
The stench of burning rubber hung in the air and black
skid marks scarred the road for just over a football field in length, leading
from where our car came to a rest to just beside the squirming blanket on the
road. Cami had covered half that
distance already, running in her bare feet, ignoring the rapidly approaching semi-trailers.
My heart, already pounding in my chest, skipped a
beat when I heard a chilling sound. It
was the faint, but unmistakably wailing of a baby. This
couldn’t be happening. I urged my travel weary legs to move faster. Although my wife was sprinting at a pace I’ve
never seen her use before, I was still making up the ground fast.
The trucks, a pair of them running side by side like
some twisted heavy weight drag race, were closer than I first thought and gave
no indication of slowing down. Cami was undoubtedly
difficult to spot wearing a black tank top and blue jeans against the dark back
drop. I had been doing 80 miles an hour in
our car when I hit the brakes and it took us almost 400 feet to stop, the trucks
were probably doing close to that speed and because of their size and mass it would
take them considerably longer. A couple
more seconds and they’d be unable to stop in time.
I ripped off my yellow beach shirt and started frantically
waving it over my head as I ran, screaming “STOP” despite the utter futility of
it. As each second passed with no result
my anxiety grew and the more animated my waving became. See me! See me!
Please dear god let them SEE ME!
I was rewarded by a plume of white smoke emanating first
from the back of the truck on the left, then the other. When I heard the almost rhythmic sound of
tandem tires fighting for traction against a concrete surface, I let the wind
take my shirt and set my sights on Cami. It was going to be close.
The truck on the left with a red cab must have been
almost empty because it was having no problem stopping short, but the one of
the right was a different story. Just as
it pulled past the other truck its trailer began to jack-knife across the road. I reached Cami just as she was picking up the
baby and using strength I didn’t know I had, scooped them both up and lunged to
the left out of the path of the careening trailer.
The truck and trailer came to rest midway between us
and our car. I set Cami down and took a
few steps towards it, staring in disbelief.
Imprinted on the side of the trailer was the logo for Gerber Foods.
I turned back to Cami, standing there with the
blanket clutched tightly to her chest.
The bundle in her arms was oddly still, and silent. When our eyes met the emotion of what had
just happened silently passed between us.
I cannot recall ever loving her more than I did just then
Both of our attentions switched to the blanket. Using a special kind of tenderness, Cami pulled
apart the corners and pealed it open.
When the last layer fell open her expression froze. Something was wrong.
The blanket obscured whatever it was, so I took a
step closer. Cradled in her arms,
unclothed, with a cell phone taped to its chest with a piece of black
electrical tape, was a very life-like doll.
Sorry about that, not the conclusion you
were looking for? But isn’t that’s the
ear-mark of any thriller/mystery worth its salt, the need to turn the page to
find out what happens next? I do have a third
piece I could post next week…if there’s enough interest that is. Let me know what you think.
Nice post! I really enjoyed the story :)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was:
"My heart, already pounding in my chest, skipped a beat when I heard a chilling sound. It was the faint, but unmistakably wailing of a baby. This couldn’t be happening. I urged my travel weary legs to move faster. Although my wife was sprinting at a pace I’ve never seen her use before, I was still making up the ground fast."
I like the word choice plus the scene in general.
Keep up the great posts!
I didn't know what to expect, but I knew it wouldn't be as simple as it appeared. Yes -- keep going!
ReplyDeleteOoh I loved it :)
ReplyDeleteI loved it too! Wow...and it certainly wasn't what I expected, but that's part of what I love. Definitely post the third part! How could you possibly leave us hanging without the final conclusion?
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm interested in seeing the third piece! Someone strapped a cell phone to a doll and put it in the middle of the highway? I have to know more about that!
ReplyDeleteAnd the Gerber foods logo was a great touch. :)
I'd definitely read one of your books Don. I'm so curious as to why someone would go through the trouble of putting a crying doll in the middle of the road ... (I'm glad it wasn't a baby though!)
ReplyDeleteThat was too perfect that you made it a Gerber Foods truck, but I can't believe you did that to me at THE END!!
ReplyDeleteWhat happens next? You totally got me. :)
ReplyDeleteThat was cruel! They risked their lives for a doll.
ReplyDeleteI read your first post but never commented (sorry). This was wonderful. Please keep going!
ReplyDeleteWow, that was intense! I could totally picture the character waving his shirt around and the trucks coming toward them. Nice ending!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I was relieved at the end :)
ReplyDeleteDL, I read this and was all confused because I hadn't read the first part yet! DOY. Once I did that, it all made sense. Great snippet! Very surprising ending. I kinda had a feeling it couldn't have been a baby!
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent twist! I was too caught up in the tension to consider that it wasn't a baby. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAHHHHHH! Must have part 3!!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is spell-binding. I always forget I'm reading on a computer. This ending definitely shocked me. I love being shocked by a story; it doesn't happen often.
ReplyDeleteCatherine Denton
Eeeeee!!! But why would the doll be there?! Whoever put it there must have wanted it to be found by a random passerby... but why? So many questions... hope you're writing Part 3 right now ;)
ReplyDeleteVery clever. Sneaky and clever. :D
ReplyDeleteNext part please. :)
ReplyDelete