I
missed last month’s Alex J.
Cavanaugh’s IWSG post while trying to recoup from the A to Z Challenge, but I’m back now.
Actually I’m in Las Vegas on business, but you get the point. This month I want to discuss protecting our
insecurities, and as they say…the best
defense is a good offense!
I’ve
spoken many times about my theme for 2012 as far as my writing career goes -- Making it uncomfortable in my comfort zone. Well, we are almost mid-way through the year
and it’s time to take stock of how I’m doing.
In
short, I’m laying siege to it.
Most
of you who’ve been following me for awhile know that I’m a card carrying
introvert (quite a few writers are). I
also suffer from acute shyness (no, it’s not the same thing as being
introverted). And any of you who
experience the same maladies know that there is no “fixing” them, you simply
learn how to cope. But in order for me
to achieve my writing goals I needed to stop avoiding situations where my
personality would be tested. I also had
to swallow whatever imagined insecurities I allowed to erode my confidence and
step out of my cozy little world. The
best way to do that was to shake things up and go on the offensive. Let’s see how I’ve done.
In
5+ months of 2012, I started off by joining a new in-person writers group, I
sent out about 35 query letters, took part in the A to Z Challenge, participated in a “touchy feely” leadership
development camp, attended my first major writers conference…by myself, submitting
my writing for public scrutiny at the conference, made an in-person pitch to an
agent, and interacted with my critique partners via direct phone calls. Now this might not seem like much to some of
you, but for me…my comfort zone is shaking like a leaf.
The
real question is -- has any of it paid off?
It’s still too early to tell and the truth is that most of these efforts
are meant to change my direction, not hit a particular target. It’s not pleasant, and sometimes downright
unsettling, but you have to ask yourself how committed are you to this
journey? If your answer is the same as
mine, then there’s only one thing to do.
Lay
siege!
Good for you, DL. I would have found most of those things a real challenge as well.
ReplyDeleteWith my second book launching next spring, I want to make 2013 the year I go to conferences and get out there among other writers to promote my work. Maybe even without my husband coming along to arrange all the travel, hail taxis, find hotels, and drag me into conversational circles saying, "Hello, have you met my wife ..." (Yeah, I let him do that. Count on it in fact.)
I'm terrified. Last night, I was reading Tweets from people at BEA and panicking over the thought of possibly attending next year. What if nobody talks to me? How DO you get a taxi?
But if I want to help make the book a success, I really need to get myself out there ... overcome my shyness, push the introvert into social contact ... and maybe grow up a bit. I'm too old to be afraid of a taxi.
Sounds like you're doing just fine.
ReplyDeleteI'm like you and Dianne, but I had to push myself out of my comfort zone when I was a drug rep. It's just part of the job. Fortunately I don't have to do it all the time. It's exhausting for us introverts.
ReplyDeleteVery motivational! I have made a lot of goals for 2012 and I'm very happy with where I've come.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Sounds like you're in full armor and attack mode! I've had some issues with shyness as well...nothing like getting a job that involves public speaking to cure that. Just kidding--like you said, it's not really curable. I still couldn't control my voice shaking every now and then, but I learned to smile through it even though it was agony. Man, I still dislike public speaking...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Sounds like you're in full armor and attack mode! I've had some issues with shyness as well...nothing like getting a job that involves public speaking to cure that. Just kidding--like you said, it's not really curable. I still couldn't control my voice shaking every now and then, but I learned to smile through it even though it was agony. Man, I still dislike public speaking...
ReplyDeleteYou're an inspiration to introverts everywhere :) Good job!
ReplyDeleteMoving outside our comfort zone is the hardest thing any of us can do. Kudos to you for what you've accomplished so far. Keep going!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah -- you've got your comfort zones holed up in their rickety inner-keep castle tower, dude! Keep the siege catapults firing!
ReplyDeleteAwesome job, my friend.
Well done on pushing youself to do those things. Things like that don't come easy to me either but you had the guts to go out and do it, which is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYou have one foot planted outside of the Comfort Zone - terrific! And talking on the phone wasn't so scary, was it? :) The thought of querying and planning on going to a conference this year is making my stomach churn, but I have you as a rolemodel to look up to so I'll feel braver doing it. Way to trailblaze!
ReplyDeleteWowza! I'm a full blown extravert and even I have a hard time talking on the phone to people I've only talked to via internet.
ReplyDeleteGood for you my man. :)
Good for you... my comfort zone is shaking just thinking about what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy Vegas!
I get it. I really do. But putting ourselves out there will have an impact on us, and from my experience, it's generally positive. Keep at it!
ReplyDeleteI like the expression "lay seige" -- it says a lot and is more active and manly than the usual "going out of my comfort zone."
ReplyDeleteWell done, for everything you've accomplished this year so far. What will the next 6 months bring?
ReplyDeleteI think I'm pretty shy too, but I must do a good job of faking it as people always seem to think I'm outgoing.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you've been on the right track in the past several months. If you persist, I'm sure you will see a payoff. "Lay siege" sounds like the good strategy.
Lee
Wrote By Rote
Not much? That's impressive!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course it's paid off. I bet you're a different person now because it's forced you to grow some.
You've hit some big milestones so far this year - I'd say you're doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteah yes, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have a friend that loves the spotlight and thinks that I should love it too..."it's easy, just put yourself out there." Yeah, cause that only leaves me with embarrassing moments...but pretty good stories at the same time!
ReplyDeleteWay to go, DL! This really inspires me to put myself out there even more.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
May not seem like much? May not seem like much!
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, DL! This is fantastic and A LOT!
Good for you.
You are inspiring!
My fingers are crossed that you get exactly what you need out of this exercise!
Heather
Sounds like an awesome year so far! I am laying seige to some queries and writing my butt off on a new book.
ReplyDeleteWow, those things would definitely be out of my comfort zone as well. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteAllison (Geek Banter)
My heart actually raced when I read the list of things you've done so far this year - impressive!! It's so not easy to take those steps, but you're well on your way! Nice! :)
ReplyDeleteLay siege dude :) go forth and conquer insecurity, however long it takes.
ReplyDelete........dhole
I've been going through a lot of that lately--pushing the boundaries of my comfortable box. You stated it well, "It’s not pleasant, and sometimes downright unsettling, but you have to ask yourself how committed are you to this journey?"
ReplyDeletePutting ourselves out there--especially for a shy introvert (and no, they are not the same), can be excruciating. I've learned that it's like walking a tightrope--I keep reminding myself, 'just keep moving forward, and whatever you do, don't look down!'
DL, sometimes the journey itself is the destination *** Yoga music***
ReplyDelete- Maurice Mitchell
The Geek Twins | Film Sketchr
@thegeektwins | @mauricem1972
Congrats on getting those queries out. Fingers crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I've made this comment before - but it is so difficult for me to think of you as an introvert. You keep storming that castle! Quite an excellent first half of the year, I'd say.
ReplyDeleteLay Siege!
ReplyDeleteI love it, Don.
Gosh, I would NEVER have thought you shy! That doesn't come across at all! But you've done some HUGE things this year already... so impressive. And it will pay off... every little thing we do to put ourselves out there is good... ;)
You wowed me. It took me quite a few conferences and writer's days before I started putting myself out there for critiques. I force myself to focus on the "lessons" I learn from the feedback instead of the "Do they like me" aspect. Congrats for stepping out.
ReplyDeleteYou really have taken things to the next level. My inner introvert is shaking just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI joined an in person crit group this year myself. It was intimidating at first, but I'm so glad I did.
Have you seen the TED talk by Susan Cain on the Power of Introverts?
http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html
"It’s not pleasant, and sometimes downright unsettling, but you have to ask yourself how committed are you to this journey? If your answer is the same as mine, then there’s only one thing to do.
ReplyDeleteLay siege!"
love your analogy.
I'd say you're definitely laying siege to those goals!!! :P
ReplyDelete